Dave, a quick word in your ear mate.
Now, you’re either an incredibly modest person or you’re actually missing a golden marketing opportunity here, because nowhere on the jar of this outstanding mustard does it mention all the awards that it’s won.
Assuming it’s modesty, possibly coupled with the fact that you enjoy wearing a straitjacket, I feel obliged to blow the trumpet on your behalf.
Ladies and gentlemen; Dave’s Gourmet Hurtin’ Habanero & Honey Mustard has won no less than five Gold Medals at the prestigious annual Worldwide Mustard Festival in Napa Valley… oh, and one Silver Medal. What happened there Dave? One of the judges take a bung?
It’s not difficult to see why this wonderful mustard has walked away with so many awards. It’s quite simply stunning.
The flavour is… I’m not going to tell you.
Buy one and if you don’t like it I’ll give you your money back and send you one of Dave’s straitjackets.